Loss comes in many forms. It might be the death of someone you love, a best friend moving away, losing your job, having your car badly damaged, your marriage breaking down, losing your house, or even realising that something you were looking forward to just won’t happen. Everyone feels their loss in a different way, and if you do not react in the same way as someone else, it does not mean that there is something wrong with you.
However, many people tend to follow a general pattern after a loss. First, there is a time of shock and disbelief. People often feel lost, dazed and confused.As the awareness of the loss gradually sinks in, their numb feelings change to feelings of overwhelming sadness, and they may cry a lot. Many often feel angry and guilty at this time. Then, people may become preoccupied with what they have lost, going over all the details in their minds, and trying to find a meaning for it. Some may have trouble sleeping, lose their appetite, constantly feel tired, or have vivid dreams at this time. Finally, they become interested in every day life again, and they can remember their loss with fond memories and sadness, instead of sharp pain and longing. They get involved in old interests again, and may take up new ones. However, many get stuck somewhere along the way. Often they have trouble coming to terms with their feelings. They are haunted by thoughts of “What if…” and “If only I had…” They are shocked by sudden feelings of overwhelming anger which they believe they shouldn’t feel. Or they may feel that their tears are “stuck” and they just can’t cry.
If you are experiencing problems yourself, or if you are concerned about a family member or friend, we can help. We at The Anna Centre, have many years of experience in helping people work through their own unique pattern of grieving. Just coming along and talking it over with someone who understands and cares enough to listen is often a big help.
Also, we can help you to gain insight into what might be keeping you stuck. She will teach you how to manage your feelings, and various ways of coping with any problems you may have. We will show you how to feel better about yourself and your loss. You might never get over it, but you can get through it. We are here to help.